The Kwan Barn: Episode 1
A Cafe at Chippo
1am 11th January 2012
Dutka for the last 7 minutes has been on the phone in the cafe trying to contact his ex-girlfriend. Meanwhile, close by, Jamal is sitting on a table reading a newspaper and next too him is Conrad eating a plate of bacon and eggs...
Dutka hangs up the phone angrily and walks to and sits on the table Jamal and Conrad are at. He strokes his hair with both hands in frustration....
Dutka: "Fuck it, Tam Chi is banging Ian..."
Jamal places his newspaper down..."Chill out man....she's sleeping..."
Dutka: "No...she's banging freakin Ian....i'll bet you 20 dollars
she's banging Ian..."
As Conrad places a piece of bacon in his mouth, he says, "Bad bet..."
Dutka looks at Conrad in disgust, "Why is that dick?..."
Conrad: "Either way...you're screwed...you lose if your girlfriend
is banging Ian and if she isn't...you lose 20 dollars..."
Dutka: "Fuck you Conrad...anyway...Tam Chi's a vegetarian...
Jamal: "So..?"
Dutka: "Ian's a meat cutter..."
Conrad: "So what...you run on soccer fields...."
Dutka: "Shut up dick... don't you see the contrast?...Tam Chi's a freakin vegetarian and he's a bloody meat cutter..."
Jamal: "Who do you think you are?...William Shatner...Calm Down..."
Dutka: "Fuck You Nathan..."
Dutka looks at Jamal: "What the fuck is Conrad doing here...?"
Jamal wraps his arm around Conrad's neck: "Didn't i tell you...we're making a band!...Slop Knot 2!"
Conrad: "hahahahahahaha...!"
Dutka looks at Conrad: "Retard...i'm going to Tam Chi's house..."
Jamal: "You're not going to Tam Chi's house..."
Dutka standing up to leave: "Fine, i'm not going to go to Tam Chi's house..."
Jamal: "Don't go..."
Dutka walking out of the cafe: "I'm not..."
Jamal says to Conrad: "He's going to Tam Chi's house..."
Conrad: "Imagine Dutka was right and Tam Chi is bonking Ian now...shit!...doesn't he have bad timing...."
Theme Song: "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head" by B.J. Thomas